Color Me Uninfluenced

From the onset of her morning sickness, my identity was already being shaped

The room doused in pink because that’s just how things are done

Children are born every minute with very little stake in who they’ll be

Wooden blocks of primary colors amid the tiny little fingers

So much of our identity is formed from the feedback we receive from our families & peers

A child’s desire for autonomy gets them labeled as spoiled or a terrible two

We say,  “children are to be seen and not heard,” surgically removing their voice box

Replacing it with a CD player repeating the negative talk that’s been generously handed down

The media has taught our son’s to be knights and our daughters to be princesses

Harmless right?

But what if she was made to fight for racial inequality or play at the Symphony Harmonica

What if the only thing limiting me was the influence of those who claim to love me

How could true love have so many conditions?

Why do I have to do a criminal investigation from the playground to the boardroom to find out exactly who stole my identity

Or better yet did I ever own it

Was I ever free to just be?  Loved???

When I came out screaming what if those cries were because I didn’t like pink

But no one listened

What if when I said “No” at two it wasn’t because I was terrible but in touch with my own instinct

The world has been trying to squeeze me into something more palatable

So, I thought I had no choice in the matter. But what makes me human is that I always have a right to choose

And today I choose not to be influenced by external forces

Beauty is authenticity within that was suppressed by others now on the rise

I give myself full permission to nurture what was hampered

When my tiny little hands played with the blocks, of primary colors

Perchance my gaze looked afar off for a color that was yet to be discovered

Color me uninfluenced


Penned by Jennifer

© A Necessary Pain 2019

Images Courtesy of Pixabay


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