Absenteeism

I used to ask where were you, but I knew that already Absent, not present, the heartbeat of neglect is steady With each pulse, I’m reminded that I never had a father figure So, with each pulse, I strived to make men gawk at my figure Substituting sex with a stranger to compensate for an…

On The Fence

  I’m at the point in my life where I desire to build lasting relationships with worthy people. Yet, I am on the fence that was made by my shame. I’ve been rejected so many times that the fence is not only cemented in the ground of my heart, it also has barbed wire. Escaping…

The Day I Stopped Trying

This year I resolve to stop trying to do better. I resolve to stop relying on my human effort as if I can somehow master things that for the better parts of my existence have mastered me. Am I giving up? Well, I wouldn’t say I’m giving up; I’m giving God______. I am surrendering all…

Why God?

A friend and I were discussing trusting the Lord when you don’t know why. In fact, she stated that I shouldn’t try to understand why but rather continue to believe if not increase in believing. Some situations in life provoke a knee-jerk reaction of “why God?” Why this divorce, why this trauma, why this financial…

Just Die Already

What do you do when you’ve suffered long? Your faith has taken major blows because it knew how to withstand the storm but not a deluge lasting for an indefinite period. You’ve been suffering so long that it has become your baseline. Discomfort is your status quo. You’ve become accustomed to pain and disappointment. Could…

Cinderella’s Shame

That twelve-year-old dined in the latrine. They bullied her out of the cafeteria, past the principal’s office, all the way to the grimy lavatory. How could a pudgy, intellect overcome such torment? What made her so unworthy? This wasn’t David against Goliath, this was David against Goliath and his three brothers who were just as…

I Deserved To Die

Where was the man? When everybody stood there with stones in their hands Ready to brutally murder me for my life is quicksand My accusers accuse me. Sinners in the judgment seat As if they haven’t slaughtered enough of these sheep They’ll stone me for my sin yet the law they can’t keep Admittingly I’m…

Still, God

Every time, I consider the recklessness of God’s love permeating the earth I am confronted with this truth. He is still God. He never stopped being God. When I get too close to destiny and far from familiarity and get scared and turn back, He’s still God. When sin looks like my favorite dish because…