Who Does She Think She Is?

Just five minutes. For just five minutes I will share something that I’ve been avoiding for much of my life as a triple minority. I’m an African American, woman, with Bipolar disorder who loves Jesus. I wouldn’t feel so much secret shame if that was the end of my story, but God had the audacity…

Absenteeism

I used to ask where were you, but I knew that already Absent, not present, the heartbeat of neglect is steady With each pulse, I’m reminded that I never had a father figure So, with each pulse, I strived to make men gawk at my figure Substituting sex with a stranger to compensate for an…

On The Fence

  I’m at the point in my life where I desire to build lasting relationships with worthy people. Yet, I am on the fence that was made by my shame. I’ve been rejected so many times that the fence is not only cemented in the ground of my heart, it also has barbed wire. Escaping…

The Day I Stopped Trying

This year I resolve to stop trying to do better. I resolve to stop relying on my human effort as if I can somehow master things that for the better parts of my existence have mastered me. Am I giving up? Well, I wouldn’t say I’m giving up; I’m giving God______. I am surrendering all…

Why God?

A friend and I were discussing trusting the Lord when you don’t know why. In fact, she stated that I shouldn’t try to understand why but rather continue to believe if not increase in believing. Some situations in life provoke a knee-jerk reaction of “why God?” Why this divorce, why this trauma, why this financial…

I Deserved To Die

Where was the man? When everybody stood there with stones in their hands Ready to brutally murder me for my life is quicksand My accusers accuse me. Sinners in the judgment seat As if they haven’t slaughtered enough of these sheep They’ll stone me for my sin yet the law they can’t keep Admittingly I’m…

Shifted

Down, low My head would hang So far beneath Christ’s intent Even lower I’d clang Wondering where all my time was spent Bottled in confusion Nestled in care It was all an allusion How I despised the despair But now I’m aware That even when I was down and low There was no place where…